The Deer and the Dark Lord

By popular demand, the evening upon which a deer became better acquainted with the Dark Lord Sauron

Somewhere in a small city teetering between the rural and the suburban, a deer took refuge in a small neighborhood. Nestled between the houses, it could breathe easy, knowing that hunters would never find it.

It strolled along a country road on the dark, rainy night. A long-awaited cold front was sweeping through the area, making it virtually invisible to anyone who passed by.

As it wandered, it found a place without streetlights. So it began sauntering onto the hard pavement.

That’s when it happened. First, one set of bright lights on a car came buzzing past. The deer darted. The car swerved.

Just as the deer thought that all was well and it had a clear shot to the tree line, it realized that it was within inches of another set of lights. First, the deer dodged towards the dazzling glare. Then it sprinted away. But not quickly enough. Leaving a chunk of its hindquarter in the sharp metal, the deer escaped back into the forest.

As it glanced back, it saw the two startled people try to understand what had just happened. Between them, situated on the dashboard, the Dark Lord Sauron in bobblehead-form glared after it, warning it never to never step foot on a road again.


Okay, so it probably wasn’t really that dramatic. And, sadly, my grandfather informed me that the deer probably didn’t wander far, even though it was definitely still running at full speed after it made contact with the headlight right in front of me and we were only going 35 (or less, since we saw the car in the other lane swerving… if only we had known it was a deer and hadn’t thought that the driver was just drunk). But I like to think that it is a very resilient deer and is spreading its tale of tangoing with a little green sedan.

Tango with the Deer

The deer’s dent… Poor deer. Poor car. : (

What I do know, though, is that my Dark Lord Sauron bobblehead was glaring at the deer. Sauron’s head is perpetually glancing to the right, even as he sulks now because the car is in the shop and he’s again temporarily out of a job.

The poor Dark Lord Sauron has been reduced to guarding Christmas cookies

The poor Dark Lord Sauron has been reduced to guarding Christmas cookies


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